Life will never be the same again
by Won't-wear-a-Halo
Summary: Gone from the world he left a wife and two kids...how will she move on with her life? How will she survive without the love of her life right beside her? And is he really dead?


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**Life will never be the same again**

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I shed a tear as I walk down the winding staircase, all dressed in depressing black. All around me are flowers of those who took pity. My family looks at me with sorrow, they hate to see my tears. I choose to hide them for a while, but can't keep them any longer. Three weeks ago you went. Three weeks ago all was gone. Life as I knew it was over. Life as I loved it was gone. To never come back again. It was as it was meant to be, but never will it be easy. Light shines through the windows which had been shut for the last few weeks. I like it dark. All I am is dark. Darkness consumes me and I love it. But it was the darkness that drove you away. It was the darkness that broke us apart. It was the darkness that ended this life. This life we shared.

The sky is grey. Grey like your beautiful eyes. The last time I saw those eyes, three weeks ago, they no longer held the joy as before. They held sorrow and regret. Even guilt could be seen. You knew what was bound to happen. You knew. I however had no clue, to me all this came out of the blue. It brought me down so low. Yes I loved the darkness but I would have left it behind for you, for you I would have done everything. Now that darkness is all I have to live for. That's why it consumes me.

Will I ever live again or will I not? Will I be okay or will I keep falling?

I haven't got a clue. Nobody does.

Your mother walks my way and I feel like running. She looks at me with hate. Not for me, no never for me I know. She hates the reasons this had to happen yet she accepts them. I don't. She puts around me a comforting arm and says soothing words in my ear, though I do not hear. Soon she leaves again. I walk around some more in a daze. The door opens several times but I pay no attention. The door finally stays shut. Everyone has left. No point in staying when all is already lost in here. This house will not be for long, the house of us. This house is now in the grip off evil, something both of us knew would someday happen. I just never knew it would be this soon.

It seems like only yesterday that we got married. Only yesterday when our first child was born. A boy, just like you always wanted. He was named after our fathers and trained to be like you. You told him to never back down, to never be weak. He never would, he looked up to you. You were around when he was young but disappeared when he grew up. All alone I tried to manage, all alone I tried to coop. Everybody seemed to say it was for the best, yet we knew different. You lied to them all just to have a life. Now it all turned around in spite. Our lives were turned up side down, just to keep others happy. You could not make it, you could not take it.

Now three weeks later then our last goodbye, here I am. Alone. Alone and broken. Where do I go from here? What should I do? Life has not pointed out my path just yet but it seems to be difficult anyway. Will it all get better, will I be okay. And what about our son? And the daughter that came next? They are locked together in one room, trying to sooth each other with their loss. Yet I know they can't. They saw it all. Life will never be the same again.

The doorknob twists and for the first time I take notice. I hold my breath as I dread what is to come? Have they come to finish the job? Have they finally realised it was not you who was the threat? I turn as the door finally opens and feel the air sucked out of me once I meet those beautiful grey eyes I have come to love over the years… "Draco?" is all that reaches my mouth before I black out from all the stress.

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Was it real or was it just a dream? A joke from my imagination. Were you real or were you not? Were you really there? I open my eyes hoping to find those lovely grey ones staring back, yet knowing that they wont. It couldn't be, you were killed. You let yourself be killed in order for me to live. Live and raise our beautiful children. You were gone and I no longer felt the desire to live. But still I can't forget those eyes in the doorway. Who was it and why did I think it was you? Where are those grey eyes I love so much and why aren't you with me?

My eyes were finally open again and the first thing I noticed was a body laying next to me. A hand holding my own. And a warmth radiating from it. Slowly I sat up trying not to wake the sleeping form. The first thing I wanted to do was scream. The blond hair which signatures your look and the pretty pale skin that went with it. I softly moved a piece of hair from the face only to see the lids closed and I hoped you would wake up now. I needed to see the grey orbs looking back at me, knowing you were back with me. Alive and well. Back with me to stay. If it was you, we would not quaver, we would not doubt. We would take our kids and run, run from the world. Run from all the pain we went through there. Live in another world. Live where nobody would ever look for us. Live where we would forever be safe.

I scolded myself for being such a fool. It could not be you. You died before my eyes and I would never get you back. The sleeping form besides me was just someone else. Who it was I could not yet comprehend but I knew it could not be you. Tears found their way to my eyes and let them flow freely. Why did I get my hope up for something so foolish? I know it had to be a lie. It just could not be true, it could never be you.

The body stirred and in shock I pulled back my hand. The eyes opened and I almost blacked out again. Those grey orbs stared back at me and the tears kept flowing as I just sat in shock. Was this a joke? Was this supposed to be funny? What was going on? "Pansy, love" he spoke and I recognised the voice. I'd recognise it anywhere. "how?" was all I could mutter and he didn't say another word just pulled me close.

He wiped away my tears. He held me tightly in his arms, as if saying he'd never let me go. And I knew it was true. He would not just leave me, he would not let me go. Together we were one, together we were strong. He would and could not leave that behind.

The bedroom door opened and our children came in. "We packed our stuff" "we're ready to go." Our pretty boy said and held his sisters hand. "We're starting a new life" the girl said and it all fell into place. "It's really you" ...

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I've changed the colour of the eyes because I made a mistake on that...But the story is the same furthermore. Please review! 


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